failure

I got my grades for school today. I passed my class. But it didn't feel impressive at all. I kind of feel like a failure.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Control by Metro Station]

"Get ready for me to blow your mind."

1. I just bought a bell for my bike. It goes ring ring! I think I may have annoyed the guy at the bike shop cause I just kept ringing it. "Ringringringring." Whoops!

2. School started yesterday. I'm taking good 'ol American History. Boring class is boring but its only six weeks. So I'll shuffle along through it and dream of Burning Man while taking notes about dead presidents.

3. I have a friend crush on this one girl. I told her the other night when SWIM was playing with chemicals. She said she would take me out any time. I went all red in the face and stuttered a few times. She's the first girl I could actually see myself going out with. <3

"Bi-sexuals are selfish." 

"No they aren't! They just want to share their love around. ;)"

Sorry if this blog is choppy and short. I wanted to update but wasn't feeling like writing much today.

BREAKING NEWS: Prancing around in a tutu has never been so much fun! Tutu Tuesday on the Playa. I can't wait!

COMING SOON: Bike riding around home town and Tiki Tiki party.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Jenny by Flight Of The Conchords]

no title.

An accident may have possibly ruined a friendship and more. Fuck.

Happiness

Last night you tried to get inside me. I had to tell you no 8 times. I began to cry cause your my friend and I want you happy. Please be happy.

[Current MP3 Playing: As The Rush Comes by Motorcycle]

head box broken?

In a dark corner of the whale's stomach now. Shaking palms and whispering voices. Twitch here, shuffle there. Coming up for air, breaking through a thin layer of plastic. Opening your crusty dust filled eyes and rubbing your eyelids with dirty fingers. Covered in compassion and plagued with guilt. Twitch here, shuffle there. Reaching in your pocket to find an empty space were nothing resided in the first place. Doesn't matter. Fumbling through the black void to find you. Reaching, stretching, crawling, pulling, pushing. Slipping into wet mud, sinking. Devouring. I don't know. Its gonna eat you up, drag you down, gonna get all that you asked for. Nothing is making sense in my head box.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: "Lightswitch" by Dredg]

because wisdom and knowledge are two different things.

Picture by Vitaly S. Alexius (http://svitart.n-tek.ca/)

stop thinking about her, 

stop chewing your lip, 

stop smoking your cigarette, 

stop sitting and twiddling your thumbs, 

stop talking about the weather, 

stop being angry about stupid shit, 

stop pacing because your nervous, 

stop.  

have you ever just stopped and thought: "man it feels good to breathe?"

BREAKING NEWS: Girl sort of breaks up with boy without realizing it.

COMING SOON: Cooking for friends.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Saviour by Dredg]

Af-f-f-ection

1. Everyone around me is hurting. Emotional pain seems to be the hot item on the menu this week. Suicidal boys, bitchy crying girls, relationship problems, ICK.

It makes me really sad. I just want everyone to be okay and happy. This is summer time and all I hear is "god, I just want to move away." WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE. Snap out of it! Summer = a time to crack out of your shell and run free!

Don't you remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait till summer came? A chance to ride your bikes around, stay up late and have sleep overs, no homework at all.

Nothing has really changed much! Your older now so you can drive and sleep overs can consist of having drinks and maybe sharing intimacy time with a significant other but really its still the same. It's time to release your inner child again.

Please don't be sad anymore. I want to lay on the beach in the sun with you.

2. I think my dreams are trying to tell me something. During the day I'm relaxed and I just don't care about anything. I have fun and my brain just shuts off to negativity for the most part. But my dreams are anything but. I'll dream about a unknown boy telling me he loves me and wants to be with just me. When I awake there is no one there. And while my heart tells me I don't want anyone, I think my brain can't understand that. 

I just...don't know. So into to the dusty chest these thoughts shall go.

BREAKING NEWS: "Is this really what a day is like for you? Just drinking and sleeping late?" ...That stings a little.

COMING SOON: I want to go swimming.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Breathe Me by Sia]