014

Getting all dolled up with combat boots and bright red lipstick.

It even tastes like watermelon.

!

013

Its cold!

W+A+T+E+R (D escending J oyously W henever)

Its interesting that we continuously put ourselves and others into fucked up situations. You like her but shes interested in someone else. And you flirt with him while he's staring at her from across the room.

"You cant help who you love." - Manhattan's Nasa

But are we finding attraction in those who are seemingly unreachable from the get go and striving for it because its out of reach?

Man I love my totoro hat.

(Current song: Running Up That Hill by Placebo)

P.S. Shout out to my main man PJ. Yeah homes!

012

I keep injuring myself at work. 

Ouch.

Finals are in two weeks.

ramble ramble

Sometimes I am good.

I feel happy and bouncy and calm and relaxed.

Sometimes I am bad.

I feel angry and dramatic and irrational and dumb.

I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am.

When I'm good I'll be sweet and affectionate and fun.

When I'm bad I'll be depressed and wild and mean.

I am only human?

To ere is human.

WELL FUCK.

god I hate the smell of bleach.

011

I need more to do in my life. :/

010

What are your top 5 favorite movies?

009

Work. School. Work. School. Work...

Ugh.

Merrr.

008

!!

Not a plastic star.

Spoonful Of Happiness by Alephunky

Click^

&

If it's not broken, don't fix it.

Sometimes I truly wonder if anyone is listening to me.

Wither it's an elaborate story I'm unveiling or bitchy gossip about you, and you, and you.

Sometimes I just can't tell.

Sometimes I feel like I have to scream because no one can hear me.

I've been put on mute by the giant TV remote control of life.

"Hello? Hello!?"

1...2...3...We're sorry. Your call cannot be completed as dialed. The number has been disconnected. Please try your call again. 1...2...3...We're sorry. You call cannot be completed-"

Faces melt into each other and voices become morphed and modified.

I don't know. Thoughts go squish squish squish when your brain is tired.

007

Dance dance dance dance...

DEAD.

Happy Halloween. :)

006

DANCE OFF.

Go, go, go!

006

"I love you, I always will." and "I dream about you every night." spoken to me by two guys in the same night is very frustrating.

005

No hesitation now.

Eat Fresh.

Applied at Subway. Interview today went alright. Awaiting a call back for a second interview. Manager had 30 applications in hand. Ugh.

004

NO SHOTS NOVEMBER.

003

If its becoming too strenuous, then give up. Don't push yourself to the breaking point. Seriously.

002

REVOKED.

001

I am a puddle jumping queen.

Patient Zero.

Being sick is stupid.

The CHC is much more stupid.

"She can't come in because she's too sick, she'll infect the patients."

Infect....? Braaaaains?!

just breathe.

Why would you need a blog for unbiased opinions?

Are you embarrassed that I read your blog?

For your eyes only.

Its interesting how we view our bashfulness, our shyness.

When we become embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Wither it is a cold sore or being naked in front of someone, we can't help but get bright red in the face.

Why?

Why can't we just be comfortable, why can't we just relax?

I don't understand.

And DON'T GET ME STARTED ON INFERIOR COMPLEXES. Seriously, i'm not going to listen to you be down on yourself. I refuse. 

On a lighter note...

TOP STORY TONIGHT: Crepes and Bacon Sauerkraut tonight at Euphoria. Friends and Mimosas. What a great Thursday. :)

working for the man.

I just applied at Blockbuster and Best Buy.

I hope I get a job.

*crosses fingers*

dangit...

Friend: "I haven't been able to get ahold of Zach so I think we'll have to try for another day."

(In regards to the interview for the internship)

:'(

this and that.

1. Staring at someone longingly when they don't notice is creepy.

2. Big Bang Theory is easily one of my new favorite shows.

3. Interview tomorrow with a film company for an internship. So nervous and excited. I hope my little heart doesn't explode out of my chest.

4. I've been eating a ton lately. I'M NOT PREGNANT. When the world suddenly gets a little colder I get a little fatter.

5. They are making an animated Trigun movie!

6. I want more cool shirts like a Batman hoodie with ears.

7. Everything is getting comfortable.... uhoh?

Sc

ra

mb

led

thoughts.

my mind is blank.

Not so funny now, is it?

Life is: Finding that jacket that you've been dreaming about for the last three years! And then discovering its too small for you.

• Moist. Watched a movie where a priest burns himself. Now I feel all sweaty.
• Space "man" cometh.

My ability to create blog posts long and well written is beginning to Br ea K up AND beCo me d i s t or te d.

[Current MP3 PLAYING: They by Jem]

RANDOM FACTS about me you don't really need to know about or care.

I trip over my feet alot and I drink too much. Not always in that order.

GIMME A FUCKING SAMMWICH!

Boys are dumb.

BREAKING NEWS: Cupcakes are more difficult to eat then you think.

COMING SOON: Pillow fighting out my feelings. Bring on the next challenger.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Electric Feel by MGMT]

Munch munch.

Here fishy fishy fishy. Let me dip your delicious shiny scales in barbecue sauce. :)

P.S. Date nights that aren't super fancy are super fun!

a little mouse in a big sweater.

What is real?

I just can't seem to tell anymore.

The Brain vs The Heart.

Battle Royal.

tug 'o war.

If you pull one arm and you pull the other then I will rip in half.

The Crab and his Shell.

In the midst of heartbreak you can only look at your triumphs and faults, figure out how to do it better next time, and shed a tear for your past love before you start over.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat, and Heal. <3

1 up.

Do I have to be naked with a towel on my head screaming GOD SAVE THE QUEEN AND THE LITTLE FISHES in order for someone to notice me?

Everything is moving and changing. You are you. No one is asking you to be any different. We are the ever understanding being. No. We can has cheeseburger. Oh dear god, here I go. Going, going, going. Fuck.

"Your green."

"Does that mean you feel green too?"

"I'm trapt underneath this blanket and I keep shifting into other people."

"I'm a small sad with a period."

"I've just come to realize we've been in the kitchen for the last thirty minutes talking about the rice cooker."

"Hey we're both wearing stripes."

"What? ...Oh dear god!"

No way out.

The darkness fell Friday July 17th at 8PM. I immediately clung to the person on my right as the boy with the last lamp flipped the off switch. Screams erupted in the pitch black. The room was too dark to even make out shapes. "Oh god..." I mumbled darting my eyes all around, looking for even a sliver of light. "Two days without sunlight..."

"LETS PARTY!" Shouted someone as people began giggling and running around in the dark. I grabbed my sippy cup full of Baileys and nestled into a couch. 

:) And then the madness began.

BREAKING NEWS: Spent two days at a house party in the dark.

COMING SOON: Burning Man 2009! 43 days! You ready?

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Big Girl, You Are Beautiful by MIKA]

Moo.

Picture by Thamer Al-Tassan (http://thameraltassan.com/)

Peel away the dead skin and start anew.

Ultimatum.

IF ANYONE STARTS FUCKING TELLING ME WHAT TO DO AND DOESN'T HAVE ANY AUTHORITY TO DO SO I AM GOING TO STOP BEING YOUR FRIEND. 

You have been warned.

GRRRRR.

In other news: Bought a pair of goggles for Burning Man yesterday! Yay!

Telephone.

TALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALK.

CRUNCH!

Silence.

It's over now.

No more drama.

Well...

The INFECTED drama is over.

So why am I still sad?

:(

failure

I got my grades for school today. I passed my class. But it didn't feel impressive at all. I kind of feel like a failure.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Control by Metro Station]

"Get ready for me to blow your mind."

1. I just bought a bell for my bike. It goes ring ring! I think I may have annoyed the guy at the bike shop cause I just kept ringing it. "Ringringringring." Whoops!

2. School started yesterday. I'm taking good 'ol American History. Boring class is boring but its only six weeks. So I'll shuffle along through it and dream of Burning Man while taking notes about dead presidents.

3. I have a friend crush on this one girl. I told her the other night when SWIM was playing with chemicals. She said she would take me out any time. I went all red in the face and stuttered a few times. She's the first girl I could actually see myself going out with. <3

"Bi-sexuals are selfish." 

"No they aren't! They just want to share their love around. ;)"

Sorry if this blog is choppy and short. I wanted to update but wasn't feeling like writing much today.

BREAKING NEWS: Prancing around in a tutu has never been so much fun! Tutu Tuesday on the Playa. I can't wait!

COMING SOON: Bike riding around home town and Tiki Tiki party.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Jenny by Flight Of The Conchords]

no title.

An accident may have possibly ruined a friendship and more. Fuck.

Happiness

Last night you tried to get inside me. I had to tell you no 8 times. I began to cry cause your my friend and I want you happy. Please be happy.

[Current MP3 Playing: As The Rush Comes by Motorcycle]

head box broken?

In a dark corner of the whale's stomach now. Shaking palms and whispering voices. Twitch here, shuffle there. Coming up for air, breaking through a thin layer of plastic. Opening your crusty dust filled eyes and rubbing your eyelids with dirty fingers. Covered in compassion and plagued with guilt. Twitch here, shuffle there. Reaching in your pocket to find an empty space were nothing resided in the first place. Doesn't matter. Fumbling through the black void to find you. Reaching, stretching, crawling, pulling, pushing. Slipping into wet mud, sinking. Devouring. I don't know. Its gonna eat you up, drag you down, gonna get all that you asked for. Nothing is making sense in my head box.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: "Lightswitch" by Dredg]

because wisdom and knowledge are two different things.

Picture by Vitaly S. Alexius (http://svitart.n-tek.ca/)

stop thinking about her, 

stop chewing your lip, 

stop smoking your cigarette, 

stop sitting and twiddling your thumbs, 

stop talking about the weather, 

stop being angry about stupid shit, 

stop pacing because your nervous, 

stop.  

have you ever just stopped and thought: "man it feels good to breathe?"

BREAKING NEWS: Girl sort of breaks up with boy without realizing it.

COMING SOON: Cooking for friends.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Saviour by Dredg]

Af-f-f-ection

1. Everyone around me is hurting. Emotional pain seems to be the hot item on the menu this week. Suicidal boys, bitchy crying girls, relationship problems, ICK.

It makes me really sad. I just want everyone to be okay and happy. This is summer time and all I hear is "god, I just want to move away." WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE. Snap out of it! Summer = a time to crack out of your shell and run free!

Don't you remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait till summer came? A chance to ride your bikes around, stay up late and have sleep overs, no homework at all.

Nothing has really changed much! Your older now so you can drive and sleep overs can consist of having drinks and maybe sharing intimacy time with a significant other but really its still the same. It's time to release your inner child again.

Please don't be sad anymore. I want to lay on the beach in the sun with you.

2. I think my dreams are trying to tell me something. During the day I'm relaxed and I just don't care about anything. I have fun and my brain just shuts off to negativity for the most part. But my dreams are anything but. I'll dream about a unknown boy telling me he loves me and wants to be with just me. When I awake there is no one there. And while my heart tells me I don't want anyone, I think my brain can't understand that. 

I just...don't know. So into to the dusty chest these thoughts shall go.

BREAKING NEWS: "Is this really what a day is like for you? Just drinking and sleeping late?" ...That stings a little.

COMING SOON: I want to go swimming.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: Breathe Me by Sia]

Panic!

Picture by Elena Kalis (http://www.elenakalisphoto.com/)

I woke up all twitchy and nervous. Tumbling around, caught in the many blankets. Accidently kicked or jabbed the wall I'm sure.

I can't be sure what I was dreaming about. But I remember the feeling. Scared, alone, vulnerability at its finest. Take a deep breath, process your surroundings. When I officially opened my eyes I was alone and the smell of spices and garlic were in the air.

BREAKING NEWS: Handcuffs can fit around ankles in a kinky fashion experiment.

COMING SOON: Summer classes at local community college start up in two weeks.

[CURRENT MP3 PLAYING: 24 by Jem]

your another minute older.

CRRRRASH!

You are a collaboration of everyone you have ever met for better and for worse.

Sit on that and think.

troublesome thoughts.

Everything feels so good right now. Like sticking your feet in a cool stream on a hot day. Laying in a grassy field on a slightly windy day. Magic.

But there is a thought that is troubling me. Makes me get all nervous and anxious. Its a subject most girls all go "oh jeez" over.

Boys.

Yes! Boys. Stupid silly boys.

They can be your best friend and your worst enemy at the same time. They can bring you unlimited joy and pleasure and they can bring you pain. Six shades of pain. :(

I'm trapt in this weird state of being when it comes to boys. I'm not in love with anyone right now. But I am seeing someone. We have this interesting relationship that to any onlooker would be seen as purely physical but I think it has a deeper connection then that. You could just easily call it Friends With Benefits I guess. But I don't really see it that way. It's not love, this I know, but to give it words seems too hard.

There is another boy too who is crazy about me.  A boy who I don't really have any feelings for and he's so damn nice and cute and its breaking me inside to see him look at me with those puppy dog eyes. It probably didn't help either that we ended up hooking up two weeks ago. Yeah I know. I am an idiot at times. Blame it on the alcohol?

I just don't know what to do or how to feel about things like that. So I just hide them in my secret chest and let the dust collect. Probably not the best idea but hey, its working so far.

I just want to feel simplistic.

BREAKING NEWS: Girl burns cute boy with cigarette on accident. Sign to stop smoking?

COMING SOON: Jungle party with the wild monkeys, exotic birds, and one pink gay tiger.

[Current MP3 Playing: We've Got Everything by Modest Mouse]

A time for tears?

Tonight was a goodbye party for a friend of mine Shane. I've known him for three years and he's leaving for Colorado. We yelled surprise and brought out the whiskey. There was laughs and there were tears. Mainly from me. I didn't even think I was going to cry and then I did. 

Blubbering Wendy was all blubbery. :(

[Current MP3 Playing: Secret Oath by The Spill Canvas]

Casual update. Nothing artsy about this post. Baaaaa.

1. I'm really into music right now.

More so then usual and I'm usually already all about music.

"You are the music queen."

Yesterday in the misted of me doing nothing, I download some music from a handful of various bands.

I also organized my iTunes and deleted some bands I never listen to that my ex-boyfriend put on my iPod.

It felt productive in a "hey, your not being productive" way.

(If anyone ever reads this, let me know what your currently listening to cause I may just want to download it.)

2. I'm also trying to get my weight down and get in shape before burning man. When I went to the store to get ingredients for lunch today I contemplated grabbing a candy bar for dessert and then decided against it. I was so proud of myself! It made me feel awesome ...till I looked in my cart and saw I had a Pepsi and a Crush in there as well. And I didn't put them back. :(

!@#$

But I am trying. When given the chance I walk a lot more then drive. I'm using my camel pack to drink more water and trying to cut back on smoking. So far just one cigarette today!

3. I had a crazy dream last night involving friends of mine and ex lovers. Everyone kept shifting into someone else. It was hard to figure out just who was who. Kind of like in A Scanner Darkly when Kenu Reeves' character who is hiding his identity wears the suit that changes every second. I remember feeling lost and slightly scared. Potential dream meaning? I don't know. 

I've been so happy and care free lately I don't even want to dwell on it. Just rant in this blog then forget. BAM. Forgotten already...

[Current MP3 Playing: I'll Meet You There by Owl City]

Lazy sunday.

1. I haven't been productive at all today other then making my own lunch.

I absolutely hate that.

I have so many things I need to be working on right now and yet all I do is sit on the internet and wait for peoples facebook status's to update.

I am ridiculous. -1 GOLD STAR.

I have absolutely no right to be doing nothing right now. I have a ton of events that I'm attending and 0 time to get ready for them.

Time to panic? Time to scream.

92 days till Burning Man. 92...

Oh man. I'm so screwed.

Clone yourself then?

2. BREAKING NEWS: 19 year old girl whacks pinatas to release inner rage. :)

COMING SOON:  Hiking. Swimming. Laying in hammocks. Summer starts now.

[Current MP3 Playing: Take It Home by White Tie Affair]

CONFORMIST!

This wasn't an original idea to create a blog on here. Complete conformity.

 A friend signed up and it perked my curiosity. I read a few of his entries and then wondered quite blankly why I didn't have a blog.

So then I created one. WHOOSH. And done. Instant blog. Gotta love the internet. 

(Not just for porn!)

But hopefully I can call this little blog my home for writing and it will love me like I hope to love it.

"Ssh don't tell LIVEJOURNAL that I'm cheating on him with you my darling."

[Current MP3 Playing: Lost by Coldplay]